Had the opportunity to speak to a friend today going through a tumultuous time in his life.   In looking through my previous posts, I see I gave him similar advice I posted almost a year ago in May.

Going through a tough break up, I heard him tell me he was in a ‘battle’.  A battle with her…and long story story, consisting of how they could hurt each other the most.   I also hear phrases of “where I’m from….” this is what you do….retaliate until you feel you have the upper hand.

There was soooo many lessons to be learned as he explained his situation to me.  Lessons regarding ego, letting go of the past, choices, and valuing oneself were the top of my list I tried to pass on words of ‘advice’.

Ego:  His ego was directing his course of action.  Trying to ‘one-up’ her as they exchanged volleys on hurting each other.  Ego of feeling hurt from someone else.  Letting go of ego and operating within oneself, being true to your self instead of letting situations or other people ruling your thoughts/action.

Letting go of the past:  Not only was he living in the “where I grew up this is what we do” mentality, he was not willing to accept this relationship had run its course….it was now history.  Letting go of the past and moving forward is always the best path to take 🙂

Choices:  Every second of every day is a choice.  Choice to be happy/sad, mad/forgiveness, retaliate/turn the other cheek.  Examples of endless choices.  Bottom line is I shared the choices ‘theory’….you have one of two choices to make in each situation.  Each choice, regardless of the choice, has consequences.  It may be positive, or it could be negative.  Oddly enough, with some choices come as a roll of the dice….for example, you can make a choice but if no one finds out about it, it could possibly be a ‘harmless’ choice…that is until it catches up with you.  The consequence may/may not immediately reveal itself, but rest assured it eventually will.  The  question then comes, are you willing to deal with the consequences of the decision?

Finally, valuing oneself.  As I simply put it to him, does he deserve/want to be treated that way by her?  The answer was no…which then begs the question of why wasted your time being mad/angry/upset/etc over her actions towards him?  If he values himself as a ‘king’…worthy of respect/love/admiration…then why waste time on someone who doesn’t value you as a king?  Bottom line is if you expect and desire to be treated like a ‘king/queen’, then those who don’t value you as such or try to tear you down, are quite simply not worth your time/trouble.  Sound harsh or cocky?….nope, it’s valuing yourself.  If you don’t value yourself, then you are set up to be ruled by ego, your environment, and the thoughts/actions of others.

I wish him well.  Breakups are hard we all know and have experienced.  I only wish someone would have shared similar advice that would have undoubtedly helped me.

~Destiny is your choice~