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Coming up short

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When you're tired of coming up short

Coming up short. Ever feel like you come up short in your life at every turn? Whether its in your job, your relationships, your appearance, your performances, your activities, your thoughts, your spirituality, your health, your personal goals, your career goals, etc etc…..Do you feel like no matter what you do you always seem to fall short?

Me too.

Am I perfectionist? Is that what creates the results of my feeling like I’m never enough, never do things the way they should be done, never perform the way I want or intend, never reach my goals my aspirations, never achieve anything I’ve wanted to achieve. Is it because I’m some level of a perfectionist?

Is it because something at sometime, or someone at some time, made me feel or told me I wasn’t enough? Is this what perhaps launched a lifetime of demons saying “you are not enough”….”you will never live up to/achieve great things”…you will always come up short.

I wish I knew the answers. I’ll keep searching.

I searched for a graphic to post on Instagram as a visual of what I feel. The image (posted above) led me to a website https://www.reviveourhearts.com/ and more specifically this page: https://www.reviveourhearts.com/true-woman/blog/when-youre-tired-of-coming-up-short/

Hannah Lannigan is the author writing about the subject “When you’re tired of coming up short”. From the wise words from her husband, he gave her a word: Dayenu

Dayenu is Hebrew meaning “It’s enough”. I’ll spare you the biblical thought process in using this word, but the bottom line message is “God is enough”. In other words, a life following in the footsteps of God’s path for us, it gives us peace that no matte how we much we “come up short”, God has us if we have dedicated our lives to him.

Dayenu….a powerful but yet simple message.

I can find peace in knowing that in my ego mindset, I will never be enough in anything I do, in any relationship I have, in any career I have, in any goal/aspiration I set, in any performance or activity I do, etc….HOWEVER, it is ok.

And that’s a fact I need to teach myself. It’s ok to come up short…. Dayenu.

Let the journey of constant reminder or Dayenu keep me from despair, keep my from depression, and keep me alive and well.

Until next time…..
TMO
~Destiny is your choice~

Progress Not Perfection

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Progress Not Perfection – Marie Forleo (Thoughts from The Ed Mylett Show Podcast 12-17-19)

Everything is figureoutable

Ever had an opportunity…or didn’t go after an opportunity…or go after your dream/desire/want because you felt you are not ready?

Marie Forleo gives her life story of “Beginning before she was ready” and the doors it opened up in her life simply because she lept with faith and didn’t let her insecurities stand in the way.

She, as well as myself and countless others, have been presented opportunities when we felt ‘oh Lord…I’m not ready! Can I get myself up to snuff, increase my skills, get my mind right, save enough money, etc etc and then have this same opportunity when I’m ready?!’ lol I’m sure we all have felt that way at some time.

For Marie, an opportunity came about ‘when she wasn’t ready’, yet she lept and has never looked back. You see, you could miss an opportunity of a lifetime…or an opportunity to launch your career, your life, your abundane…just because you ‘weren’t ready’!

What causes us to feel that way? For some, like myself, as Marie explains, comes from the simplicity of Perfectionism vs Progress mind set.
– Perfectionism: Leads to feeling like you can never measure up, like you can never reach your expectation. You spend all the energy in trying to be perfect and can sometimes be discouraging.
– Progress: Simply being aware and being in pursuit of your dream is progress. Doing anything FORWARD is progress, even if it’s not turning out like you thought/planned…atleast you are moving forward.

What progress are you making today? Keep action in perspective and keep moving forward.

Three Rules of the Everything is Figureoutable is Possible:
1) All problems and dreams are figureoutable
2) If a problem isn’t figureoutable, it’s not really a problem but a fact of life (death, taxes, rules of gravity, etc)
3) You may not care enough to figure out the problem or chase that dream…and that’s ok. *Find something you DO care about and go back to rule #1.

Find your gift and share. Yes there are thousands of talk show hosts, podcasts, mexican restaurants, types of jam, types of music, etc…but your gift is to give to others. Sometimes we can hear a message from multiple people, but sometimes it takes that one person for it to make a difference, to resonate, within us.

Share your gift…someone is waiting to hear…to taste…to feel…what you are offering.

Happiness is finding your gift…then living your life using the gift in the service of others.

5 minute advice to others in creating change:
1) Bedrock belief that everything is figureoutable
2) Get clear of exactly what that change is…and be specific and concrete…and be measurable
3) Why do you want this? Reasons back up results. The depth of the why comes the commitment…the emotional commitment to make it happen.
4) Write it down. 42% increase of success if you write it down.
5) Look at it every single day to stay on track

Until next time…..
TMO
~Destiny is your choice~

Create Lasting Results

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Never Mind Resolutions – Create Lasting Results (Thoughts from Tony Robbins Podcast 1-3-20)

Everyone will want change at some point in their life. Whether it be more love, to lose weight, a better relationship, a better job, to break a habit, etc.

We post resolutions at NYE or any point during the year. We create in essence a ‘wish list’ of what we want to become, what we seek, what we desire.

As Tony put it, change is automatic….progress is not. Change will & does happen yet progress is a path to your achievement. Tony outlined the following steps to creating lasting change:

  1. Get clear on your vision. What excites you? Be specific, have it measurable, and make sure it lights your fire to overcome any obstacles.
    1. “Push” requires willpower, effort, and sometimes gives way to hurdles
    2. “Pull” guides you towards your vision. It excites you and pulls you toward accomplishment
  2. What purpose is your vision?
    1. Reasons come first…..answers come second
  3. Massive Action Plan
    1. What needs to happen to make it happen? (Ex: Trying to lose weight?….cut out the morning fat filled Starbucks)
    2. Do something in the moment of your vision towards your vision. I.e., While you are “In State” do two things towards your vision (Ex: Throw out the potato chips, throw out the cigarettes, etc)
    3. 80/20 rule: 20% of action produces 80% of results. Do get stuck on doing something….just DO something!
  4. Put rituals in place
    1. What gives you consistency to make your vision a reality
    2. Create daily little habits contributing to your vision
    3. Be “In State” and do two things

In an earlier podcasts I listened to (which I will address later), I was moved on a new vision in my life. Two podcasts later and Tony Robbins’ message spoke to me: Be In State and do two things. Writing about his podcast and what it spoke to me is the first thing, I’m off to accomplish the second thing.

Progress….it happens two things at a time. 🙂

Until next time…..
TMO
~Destiny is your choice~

Addictions

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Ever stop to ask yourself….what are you addicted to?

Addiction examples may include: alcohol, tobacco, candy, pop, attention, sex, love, work, stress, anxiety, biting your nails, etc etc

The big question then lies with….is your addiction serving your interests? Is it helping or hurting what you want out of life?

Until next time…..
TMO
~Destiny is your choice~

Getting Thru The Hard Times

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Rob Dial Podcast – May 17, 2020

Hard times, whether physically or emotionally, touch each and every one of us throughout our lives. For some it may seem to come more frequently than we care to deal with…..

In Rob’s podcast, he used the symbolic transition of a lobster. Fitted with a hard shell, the lobster grows in his lifetime. Although the shell is hardened, the lobster grows and gets to a point of being uncomfortable, and sheds the shell for a new shell at some point.

The interesting point is the new shell is actually harder than the first shell.

In life, we go thru things and become harder as we go along. We learn, we grow, and we are more ‘battle tested’ to handle things thrown our way.

A key concept in his podcast is also this fact: if we are stagnant, we don’t grow. As we get out of our comfort zone, doing the things that make us uncomfortable, we then in fact grow as a person. Whether it’s doing one more rep of lifting weights when our muscles are twitching, running one more block when our lungs feel like its going to explode, applying for a job we want when feeling unqualified, loving another person after a previous love interest ended, breaking bad habits, or simply saying hi to every person you see despite the fact you think you are an introvert.

When we escape our ‘normal’, reaching out to things/people that make us feel uncomfortable, we do indeed grow ourselves. Our shell is hardened more thru previous situations, able to handle the new ‘uncomfortable’ situations….resulting in a stretched mind, a stronger body, and/or a more formidable spirit.

Until next time…..

TMO

~Destiny is your choice~

Current List of Podcasts

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I listen to podcasts regularly as my current favorites are (in no particular order):
Rob Dial – The Mindset Mentor
Jay Shetty – On Purpose
Trent Shelton – Straight Up
Dan Bongino – The Dan Bongino Show
Ed Mylett – The Ed Mylett Show
Shawn Stevenson – The Model Health Show
Rachel Hollis – Rise Podcast
Tony Robbins – The Tony Robbins Podcast
Tim Ferris – The Tim Ferris Show
Jim Kwik – Kwik Brain
Wayne Dupree – The Wayne Dupree Show
Brad Lea – Dropping Bombs
Akeem Haynes – The Underdog Mentality

Until next time…..

TMO

~Destiny is your choice~

Paying Attention

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Ever stop to take a look at what you are focusing on? Whether it me in the moment, within the last hour, before you go to bed, or perhaps what is the first thing you think of when you wake up?

“Thoughts become things” is a quote that has stuck in my mind. Apologies to the creator of this phrase as he/she slips my mind, but I find it very useful.

I was listening to a podcast today “RISE Podcast by Rachel Hollis” called “How to overcome Distractions in Work and Life” her guest was Curt Steinhorst (author of “Can I Have Your Attention”). In the podcast, amongst other things, he stated “Tell me what you pay attention to and I’ll tell you who you are”.

This hit home to me just like the thoughts become things quote. I really have to evaluate what it is I pay attention to. Or in other words, what am I giving my time (and attention) to.

If friends and family were to answer this question, I’m 99.9% sure the answer would be “WORK” lol.

To make it more clear, I am a very dedicated employee who gives everything I can to not only do my job (that my employer pays me to do), but to also help make my employer better. A strength indeed, but can also be a flaw in me as a person.

I don’t always focus on work, but admittedly it is a big part of life. I do think about other things, goals and aspirations primarily, but I haven’t given it the majority of my time. Or better yet, when I’ve given it my time, my attention to making it a reality has not been what it needs to be.

My drive to and from Denver to visit dear friends whom I affectionately call my second family, always provides me quality “me” time. Six hours each way to think…to dive deeper into my soul….to listen to podcasts or audio books. *I just finished up Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Malz & Dan Kennedy (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED). So as I finished up the audio book I stumbled across Rachel Hollis’ podcasts (which I also highly recommend).

Many thoughts, that always occur on this six hour voyage, race through my mind and Steinhorst’ quote being one of them. So I ask myself, what am I paying attention to?

Hollis also had another good podcast “This Daily Practice Changed My Life”. In this she talked about the 10-10-1 approach she uses each and every day. I’ll spare the details but in a nutshell, what are 10 dreams you have for in ten years (what do you want to look like, be like, lifestyle, etc in 10 years), what are your 10 goals to get you there, and what is your 1 goal to help get you there. In other words, dream big then lay out actions steps to get there. But the key I took from her teaching, is to simply and focus on one goal. Put your focus/attention on one thing…as the focus on achieving that one goal will have you on your way to achieving your dreams.

As always, my posts are my ramblings to get my thoughts wrote down. There is soooo much more rattling around in my head but I hate to write (haha) so I paraphrase.

My assignment: Evaluate where I want to be in 10 years. What goals do I have? And what goal do I set my ATTENTION to and make it my focus?

And don’t worry my current employer, I won’t let you down either. I’m simply just making a more well-rounded and adjusted person to help make you a better company as well 🙂

Until next time…..

TMO

~Destiny is your choice~

Life passing you by

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Ever feel like life is passing you by? Or you have missed opportunities throughout your life?

If so, let me know your experiences.  Use code “Life” so I know you’re real.

Until next time…..

TMO

~Destiny is your choice~

GPS your life

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Saw an inspirational video today on Twitter from Inky Johnson (@InkyJohnson) that struck a neat idea of having GPS for your life.

My GPS?  Not sure at this point but need to figure it out!  Been questioning my how/when/why for quite sometime and feel lost, like going through the motions day after day….and yearning for the spark I need to get me going….”somewhere”!

I’ll get it figured out, but this post comes at a really lost moment of time in my life.

Until next time…..

TMO

~Destiny is your choice~

Re-Focus

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Wow, it’s been nearly a year since I last posted!  Not that I haven’t had a TON of thoughts and experiences, just haven’t came to the site to post.

Every summer I have a different ‘theme’ or motivational ‘trigger word’.   Summer of 2017 is my “Refocus Tour”.  I won’t go into details but in a nutshell its a reminder to myself to get “back to myself” in my physical and mental state, while pushing forward in a never ending self-improvement and career advancement.

Off to workout #6 of the summer…..upper body and abs.

TMO

~Destiny is your choice~